Dad's back!

One week ago today Dad came from Oklahoma to Iowa to live with us for awhile. My brother Mark and I have decided to alternate the responsibility of caring for dad as we navigate through the progression of his Alzheimer’s. Of course I anticipated adventures to ensue, but had no idea how quickly that would actually happen. Here’s the lowdown:
• Day 1 – I almost got dad killed out on a bike ride. We were riding along on the sidewalk of a busy street and the lost control of his bike and rolled into oncoming traffic. He wasn’t hurt, but I’ve never moved so fast to get him up and out of the street.
• Day 2 – I lost dad. He and I had gone to walk the dogs first thing in the morning and then he was eating breakfast while Karl and I worked out. We finished our workout, were quite sweaty and decided to go walk a couple of blocks to cool down. Dad was finishing his breakfast, so I told him to finish up and we’d be right back. Big mistake! We came back from going three blocks and he was gone and nowhere to be found. After searching the neighborhood for 20 minutes I called the police and they finally found him about three miles away after he wandered into a school looking for me. The officer brought him back and he was unfazed. “Man, I walked about 20 miles trying to catch up with you guys!” was all he had to say.

So after two days I felt like a complete failure as a daughter. But along with day three came a new attitude. Stuff happens. But I have a unique opportunity to have a “do-over” with my dad. Much of my life I longed for a closer relationship with him. He was often serious, and consumed with work and seemed; well, angry all the time. Now I have this kinda sweet dad who’s friendly, funny, and childlike and laughs all the time. He says the most comical things, has an obsession with chicken strips, French fries and Dr. Pepper and wants to go all the time. And I’ve decided to enjoy every moment of it. Who knows how long he will even remember us? The reality is, he will get much worse and while caring for dad is inconvenient, it is a privilege to have this time with him, and I'm thanking God for the joy and laughter we can experience together.

RAGBRAI #7

Just got back from five days of cycling approximately 400 miles across the beautiful state of Iowa. This was my 7th RAGBRAI and my favorite thus far. Here are a few of the highlights:

• Having my girlfriend Sundae along for her first RAGBRAI ever and seeing it all through her eyes. This girl just started riding in December and she rocked it!
• “Randomly” meeting a new group of friends, Team Groucho, who are the neatest people and enjoying getting to know them and hearing their stories.
• Experiencing great hospitality along the way. Amazing!
• Having the most beautiful weather conditions – the best yet.
• Getting to have lots of time with my wonderful hubby and leaving work and school demands behind for a week.
• Enjoying the beauty of God’s creation and just being outside all day every day – I love it!
• Incredible spiritual conversations throughout the week. I love those!

I’m so grateful for the opportunity and ability to be able to experience something like this each year. It’s my favorite week and it refreshes me like nothing else. I’m not sure if its working my butt off on that bike, sweating like a big dog all day, or just challenging myself to be better each year, but this ride really flips my switch.

What ignites you?

A SENSELESS TRAGEDY

The headlines of my hometown newspaper this morning read “Murder-Suicide at Bank Stuns Elgin”. Unfortunately these kinds of headlines are not uncommon in our society today, but today I’m writing about this one because this was a husband and wife that I knew. Ray and Diane Dye had been married for many years and had a beautiful family including kids and grandkids. He was a local firefighter, she a coach and teacher. I have a lot of fond memories of Diane, first playing basketball against one another in high school, and later playing with one another in local tournaments. I knew her to be spirited and competitive, compassionate, excellent in all she did, and a fun person to hang with. Ray shared her competitive nature was a great sharer of stories.

So what went wrong? How did this senseless tragedy happen? Why did this senseless tragedy happen? What would cause a man to kill the woman he had loved for so long, the mother of his children, and then kill himself? These are all questions that will be speculated by everyone, but in reality, there is no answer that will relieve the devastation, the grief, or the anger that will be felt about this heartbreaking incident that has forever changed the lives of Ray and Diane and those who loved them.

I am haunted by these questions. I cannot stop playing them out in my mind over and over again and there are simply no answers here. But this I know; God is no stranger to the devastating loss of His child. His word tells us that He is the “Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 2:1-4 I can only pray that in the absence of answers, God will dispense His compassion; that it will be felt by God’s Spirit through the multitude of prayers that will be offered on behalf of the family, through the cards that will be sent, the meals that will be prepared, the words of sympathy that will be shared, the physical presence of those just “being there”. I pray it will be dispensed by the stories that are shared by the impact their lives have made on the lives of others.

Though their lives ended in senseless tragedy, the lives of Ray and Diane were not senseless. They each had purpose and meaning and they were loved.

TRADITIONS

Today is my mom’s birthday. The thing is, she passed away 8 years ago on July 4, but our family has been keeping a tradition alive ever since. On my mom’s birthday, we all go have a banana split for dinner in honor of my mom. It’s kind of a strange tradition. I’ve never heard of anyone else who actually has banana splits for dinner, but it was one of my mom’s favorite things to do. She was this little twig of a lady, but had an incredible penchant for junk food. Coke, Ding Dongs, cheeseburgers and fries, and yes, good ‘ol banana splits were among her favorites.

When I first moved to Sioux City six years ago, and away from my family, it was a real bummer because no one seemed to share my enthusiasm for honoring and celebrating my mom’s life in this way. I guess it’s just too weird to think of only having that for dinner. But not THIS year! My niece Shelby is here for the summer, and couldn’t wait for tonight to carry on the tradition. So we drove to LeMars, Iowa, the ice cream capital of the world, and got the hugest banana splits. Yum! They were so big we couldn’t even finish them.

It’s hard to believe that my mom’s been gone for almost 8 years now. She was the best mom, and I still miss her so much. She taught me many valuable life lessons, and we shared many unorthodox family traditions over the years. I’m not really what I would consider a “traditional” kind of person, but I do enjoy sharing those traditions that tie to the ones we love, and especially help connect our past, present and future. Shelby was only 11 when mom died, but this day has become so special for her, and I know she will share them with her kids (when she has them). They will then have a connection to their great grandma that they may never have had otherwise.

So here’s to my mom and the amazing woman she was.

What are your most unorthodox traditions?

Teamwork

Have you ever heard the saying, “teamwork makes the dream work”? It’s a great catchy phrase often used in the business world today, but is actually a really ancient concept. The apostle Paul speaks of it in his letter to the church in Corinth. He says in chapter 12, verse 27: “Now you are the body of Christ and each of you is a part of it.” Throughout chapter 12, Paul speaks of how each of us is like a different body part all working together. If one part fails to do its part, the whole body suffers. If all the parts do their “thing” the body is an amazing thing to behold.

So this week, I’ve had the remarkable privilege of seeing the body of Christ at work. Teamwork DOES make the dream work, and I have an amazing team to work with at Sunnybrook Community Church. Today we launched our 7th annual Skill School event with over 700 kindergarten thru 5th graders, and it was an amazing day. This team made what began as a crazy vision into this:




This gargantuan pirate ship set is just one small piece of the puzzle of the week, but what a grand piece it is! The incredible actors (mostly our staff) and worship team who graced the throngs of that ship today were astounding. The 278 volunteers that showed up today to make it all happen were extraordinary. I am so blessed to be able to witness such an awesome work of God through this body each and every year, and it only gets better. Kudos to God’s body at Sunnybrook!

Adventures with Dad - Part 3 (he's on a bike!)

Ok, my adventures with dad keep getting more unbelievable. Last night, Shelby, Emily and I decided to go on a bike ride and I asked dad if he wanted to go. Now keep in mind, this man hasn’t been on a bike in at least 50 years, if even that. “Yeah”, he says, “I’ll go”. “Holy moly!”, I think to myself, “now what do I do?” So I did the logical thing. I pulled out the easiest bike we had to ride and let him go for it. A picture is worth a thousand words, so I’ll let the video below tell the story. But I just gotta say, I’m having the time of my life spending this week with my dementia laden dad. He has no idea what he can’t (or would never)do, and I’m thanking God for every minute of it.



By the way....he rode 10 MILES. Go dad!

Adventures with Dad - Part 2

What a hilarious week this has been with dad in tow. Here are a few highlights of the things dad has been doing that he never would have done pre-Alzheimer’s:

• Watching Michael Jackson’s “This is It” movie with Shelby and I – and be-bopping along with the beat with total enjoyment
• Talking to and petting my cocker spaniel, Oakley
• Getting his hair cut at my salon
• Helping me construct a pirate ship for our upcoming Sunnybrook Skill School

And check him out jumping in to work out with Karl and me to P90X- hilarious! (Note the cowboy boots)



Tune in for more adventures tomorrow....